Hitsugaya's Subordinate
by XxFearTheFluffxX
Summary: A series of oneshots featuring the tiny Captain of Squad 10 and his unruly, unseated underling Meguri Sugatsu. 4 - That Sinking, Sickly Feeling - who said a Captain could dodge ANY attack? Whoever they were, they were wrong. OC fic
1. Water Closet Crisis

"Get _out_! I _mean_ it, Meguri. Get out right now!"

"I _can't_, Sir. With all due respect, there's some buisness in here that can't be left any longer." I called back to my clearly infuriated Captain. I was testing my luck to it's limits here; I'd only been in Captain Hitsugaya's squad for a week and already I had him shouting at me. _Yup,_ I told myself. _I give it a week before he kicks me out._

"Business?! In _my_ office? What can be so important that you need to do it in _my_ office?" he exclaimed incredulously. "And more to the point, why do _I_ have to be locked out?"

I winced; what could I say to that? The truth? I snorted derisively – yeah, _that'll_ happen. I wouldn't tell my closest friends – not that I had many of _those_ – what I was up to at the minute, let alone my hotheaded Captain. He'd never understand anyway...

"Sorry, Captain. It's a sensitive issue that I cannot divulge to second persons."

It was a struggle but I _just_ managed to hold back the wave of laughter at the thought of his face when he heard that. I'd bet he was apt to explode right about now. Seriously, the way _I_ behaved it was a wonder _any_ of the squads agreed to take me. It wasn't as if this was my first screw up – I had a bit of a track record for these kind of escapades.

I still remembered my first squad from back in the day. Ah, such fond memories! Squad 6 had been _such_ a blast! I'd really liked that squad... too bad no one warned me about Captain Kuchiki's strict 'NO FUN' rule. I mean how was _I_ supposed to know he had issues with those hair clips of his? All I did was hide them in his office and what did I get? A one way ticket to Squad 3 and a restraining order.

Squad 3 had _not_ been so much fun. My Vice-Captain had been alright – a bit of a sissy but a good laugh if you pestered him long enough – but my Captain, such as he was, was a stereotypical pervert. Every time Captain Ichimaru smiled at me, I _swear_ he was using x-ray vision to see through my clothes. Needless to say, when I pointed this out he was less than impressed.

And it had gone on like that since my graduation; I was always being switched from pillar to post, barely in a squad long enough to _really_ be considered a member of it in the first place. Not that I minded. What was life without a little excitement, eh?

"Meguri... You'd better get out of my office. _Now,_ before I break down the door." Captain Hitsugaya said in a dangerously quiet voice. Something told me that if it came to that, a transfer to another squad wouldn't be the only thing I got.

"I wouldn't if I were you, Sir. I've rigged the door with Kidou. If you force it in anyway it'll explode; and just in case you reckon it's worth the damage, I've put the important documents I was delivering beside it. In other words, unless you want those papers to go up in flames you'll leave me be until I'm done."

His profound shock at my threat carried through the door and I smirked. So predictable! Damage to his office would be bearable but his precious files were irreplaceable. Satisfied, I wandered across the room to get on with my business. Now that I was sure he wouldn't bust in I could go with a sense of peace.

"When you get out here..." he fumed ineffectually.

I rolled my eyes. I knew him better than he thought; Vice-Captain Matsumoto did worse than me every day and he never felt the need to turn _her_ into frosty the snowman. And why? Because he wasn't like that. He'd never lay a hand on his subordinates unless they broke the law. And technically, _I_ wasn't breaking the law. What I was doing was just frowned upon.

At last I was finished and I undid the Kidou (which had been very real) and slid open the Shoji. There stood my enraged Captain, hand on the hilt of his Zanpakutou. Maybe I'd been wrong about the not harming his underlings thing? 'Cause right now I had a tingling feeling in my gut that told me I was staring death in the face. All four foot of it..

"Now, Captain," I rushed to reason with him. "I haven't done any harm. Look; your office is fine! It was really important..."

He peered over my shoulder (goodness knows how; I'm at least a foot taller than him!) and his eyebrows knitted in that same frown he'd worn the day we met, when I was being inducted into Squad 10. I could remember looking at him with that half-scowl on his puss and thinking: '_Wow! My reputation precedes me!'._

He returned his gaze to me and I offered a tiny, anxious grin in the hopes of placating him. If I was lucky (which I tended not to be in such matters) he'd forgive me and I could take another crack at being a member of Squad 10. Moving was fun and all but if I had to choose a squad I'd rather be Squad 10. Why? 'Cause that way I'd have an _awesome_ Vice-Captain and a Captain who was smaller than me!

"The toilet? You locked me out because you needed to use my toilet?!" he exclaimed. Wow. He's smart.

"Yeah." I admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head.

"... Explain." he ordered. I would have refused but under that icy glare only the bravest (or most brain-dead) would disobey.

"Well, I needed to go... And I don't like people hearing me at the toilet." I murmured, looking at my feet. I kicked at the floor aimlessly waiting for him to say something. No reply was forthcoming so I decided to take the initiative. "So... Shall I pack my stuff?"

"... No. Just... just get back to work." he sighed, shaking his head as if he didn't quite believe my stupidity. I jumped up and squealed, terrifying him. Without thinking, I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a bone-crushing hug that he _might_ have been trying to escape... I didn't really notice 'cause he was so totsie. Then, without a backwards glance, I rushed away to find Vice-Captain Matsumoto.

As I told her my story, Matsumoto laughed uncontrollably, holding her stomach and wincing through her guffaws as they made her cramp. I laughed along too, remembering the terror on his face when I'd jumped up to hug him. Who knew? Maybe I'd found my true squad after all.

**Randomness! Lol. I was watching The Diamond Dust Rebellion and for some odd reason I started to wonder what would happen if Hitsugaya had an out of control subordinate. There will be more random oneshots featuring Hitsugaya and Meguri's strained Captain/Subordinate relationship and they will all be put in here. The tiny snowflake could use some disorder in his squad (besides Matsumoto). ^_^**

**REVIEW!!!**


	2. The Fear

I had to admit, it was just a _little_ bit funny. I mean _really_; who's ever heard of a Shinigami who's afraid of the dark? Shinigami were supposed to _dominate_ the darkness! We were supposed to kick the dark's butt! We fought Hollow nearly every day in life and I'm sure everyone would agree, that's a _much_ scarier kind of darkness than the dark that merely came with the absence of light.

Everyone except _me_ that is.

My irrational fear was never a problem in Soul Society – there was always light there because, unlike the humans, we didn't rely on... what was it? Lectricity? We didn't rely on lectricity to supply our light. What was the matter with a good old-fashioned lantern? Didn't the humans know that in situations like these – when there wasn't enough light to see your own hand in front of your face – the _worst_ kind of monsters came out to play? Didn't they know the really _dangerous_ Hollow had an advantage in the dark?

I snorted derisively to myself; yeah right! From what I'd seen and heard in my brief time here, most humans didn't have a clue that Hollow even existed. Goodness knows why; the monsters weren't exactly _quiet_ when they broke through to the real world. Always bellowing like a pack of hungry bears and stomping around like Godzilla on a rampage.

_Why me? _I thought miserably, curling into a tighter ball in the corner of this heavy black room. _Why didn't I just tell Captain Hitsugaya to stuff his silly errand?! Now I'm trapped here, in the dark... alone..._

What if a Hollow broke through _now_? I couldn't fight it like this! I couldn't see for one thing but that wasn't my main problem – the main obstacle would be getting over my _fear_ of the dark. Not being able to see wasn't the same as darkness. Being blindfolded wasn't a problem because when I was blindfolded, even though I couldn't _see_ it, I knew the light was still there and so I could rely on my sense of hearing. But in the darkness you just didn't know... You couldn't be sure if the light was gone for good or not.

I heard it then. A low growling, like a hungry animal, _very_ close to where I was hiding. My insides froze and I suddenly knew what people meant when they said they had 'the fear'. I'd always wondered, because as far as I knew – or had known till now – fear was all the same. But no, 'the fear' was different. 'The fear' was a specific kind of fear you got which was accompanied by the feeling that you were seconds away from getting a few pounds lighter, if you catch my drift. 'The fear' was a fear that pushed you so far beyond the boundaries of 'shaking like a leaf' that shaking in itself was a distant memory – you couldn't shake anymore 'cause you were so frozen by terror.

I wanted to scream, and actually gave it a good try, but I couldn't get any more than a terrified, panic-stricken squeak past my lips. Tears beaded in the corners of my eyes and I was powerless to stop them falling down my cheeks as the scary growling continued. Rising and falling in pitch, irregular and _hungry _sounding.

And suddenly...

...there was light!

A bar of beautiful, sacred _light_ fell across my tear stained face and I looked up in surprise, like a person awakening from a close-call drowning. I blinked a few times to clear the tears and met the confused, slightly annoyed expression of none other than my pearly-white-haired Captain.

"S-sir!" I stuttered in relief, throwing myself at him and knocking him over in my desperation to bathe in the wondrous light. "I'm so glad you came, Captain! It was dreadful! The lights went out – stupid lectricity! – and then I heard this horrible growling and I thought I was gonna be eaten!" I wailed, then yelped fearfully as the growling came again.

I looked down at my stomach, clad as it was in the formal Karakura High School uniform and prodded it experimentally. It let out a loud, gurgling rumble and I jumped in spite of myself. _Man, how long was I in there?! I'm starving!!!_

"Meguri." Captain Hitsugaya sighed, picking himself up and dusting down his own stiff clothes that the people here called a 'school uniform'. "You were supposed to be back over an hour ago; I only sent you for paper for goodness' sake!"

"B-but Captain! You don't understand! I _told_ you, the lights went out and I got scared and then... why are you looking at me like that?" I asked worriedly.

"You... you're afraid of the _dark_?" he questioned incredulously. I nodded once, blushing madly as I realised just how pitiful that sounded. "Well _why_ did you close the door behind you?!"

I looked behind me at the door labelled 'Supply Closet' and turned back to my captain again with a sheepish shrug. "I _didn't_. It shut by itself... Probably someone passing by bumped into it or something..." I mused, understanding what must have happened and internally scolding myself for my irrational reaction.

Captain Hitsugaya let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Just get back to class." he ordered.

"Yes sir!" I saluted him, clicking my heels together with a cheery smile, scary ordeal forgotten already. I could tell that my tiny superior was already regretting the decision to bring me on this mission – and it had only been two days!


	3. Corporal Punishment

"Meguri-chan!!!" MEGUUURRRIII!"

"Oh no," I groaned, burying my sweat-drenched head in my sleeve briefly – _stupidly! – _before remembering the dire situation I was in and quickly raising it just in time to parry another sharp cut aimed at my shoulder blade.

"Gnnugh!" I gasped, dropping to one knee with my Zanpakutou in the air, positioned horizontally above my head to block the business end of my attacker's sword.

"Don't let down your guard!" the owner of the razor-edged weapon barked harshly, withdrawing and taking another hack at me from the side.

Bringing my Akisame around with as much speed as I was capable of, I _barely_ managed to block this attack too. Even so, the force of contact made my bones shudder with an exhausted brand of pain and I had to fight not to drop my sword – _that_ would have went down like a lead balloon, for sure. Wasting no time (for I knew there was none to waste while in such close proximity to my opponent) I jumped away like an injured frog, holding my sword arm and gently trying to massage some strength back into it.

"Next time I'll cut your arm _off_." he growled taking a defensive stance again, Zanpakutou raised so that the tip was level with his eye-line – impressive considering the sword itself was at _least_ the same size as he was.

"I h-have no d-d-doubt you will... C-Captain." I wheezed, adopting his stance and managing to make a complete mockery of it compared to his solid, impenetrable one. And I meant it – I _knew_ he was serious because, let's face it, when was the Captain of Squad Ten ever anything else?

I wouldn't last much longer. _Couldn't _last much longer. I was out of breath, out of energy and rapidly running out of luck. If the Captain's mood didn't improve soon I was really gonna die.

_This is what you get for making inappropriate jokes about his puberty... or lack of, as it were, _I scolded myself. Honestly, what had I _expected_? He was a hothead at the best of times but anything pertaining to his younger, more immature presence was taboo!_ Idiot, idiot, idiot! You're an idiot, Meguri Sugatsu!_

"I th-th-thought... corporal p-punishment was ill-illegal now?"

"Not in Soul Society it's not."

"F-figures!" I cried sarcastically, ducking and rolling aside as he sent the sharp crescent of his shikai form flying at me. He missed – thankfully – but the whistling as it passed a hair's breadth from my ear left goosebumps all over me.

"Meguri-chan? MEGURI-CHAAAAAAN!" the oh-so-recognisable voice of my Lieutenant wailed again. I would pay almost anything for her to find me now – preferably _before_ Captain Hitsugaya made an ice sculpture out of me – but I was too busy to answer her.

I was actually surprised Hitsugaya hadn't sliced a limb or two off already – let's face it, an unseated weakling like me was hardly a match for a Captain. In fact the odds were so stacked against me, so utterly _hopeless_, that even as I fought for survival, I was confused by my own decision to stay and fight rather than run away screaming – at least that way I _might_ survive. I guess it was the Shinigami in me. Running away was not my thing even if the chances were, I was going to die.

And that was looking increasingly likely at present. Too likely for my tastes – I knew I was a failure Shinigami but sparring with Captain Hitsugaya just emphasised the fact somehow.

"C-can't we talk this o-over, Cap'n?" I tried again, skipping away with all the grace of a falling building as the two-foot terror slashed and jabbed at my rapidly weakening guard. "I didn't... mean anything b-by it, you kn-know!"

"Discipline is a key factor in any squad, Sugatsu. I can't have one of my subordinates – an unseated one at that – -," _Yeah, rub it in why don't ya?_ "talking to me like a child!"

I gave him a look that clearly said 'you _are_ a child' and... well let's just say it didn't go down well.

"B-But-!" I objected, trying to block his Hyourinmaru as it swiped at my upper left shoulder and missing by a millisecond. My argument was suspended as I let out a little cry of shock, wincing as the honed edge cut easily through my Shihakshou and drew blood. It was a scratch, barely worthy of any attention at all, but I still froze in panic; although I'd expected nothing less, it was still a surprise to find that the Captain wasn't adverse to injuring me if I left room for it. Yet another example of why I wasn't suited to become a seated officer.

"I _wasn't_ disrespecting you, Sir!" I yelled, rolling away to avoid a downwards thrust that cracked the concrete in the place I'd been crouched. "I have nothing but the highest regard for you!"

"Tell it to the judge!"

_I just _did!I thought mournfully. _But the judge has already sent for the executioner!_

Parry to the left, jump the low swing, slide away from the thrust, bat away the cross slash, DUCK (phew! Nearly lost my head there!), hop, skip, roll, desperate swipe (miss!), run...

The battle went on and on and _on_. The Captain wasn't giving an inch and with every step in our deadly dance I could feel my arms turn to lead. Not the normal, hard day's work lead either. This lead was full on joint-lock, screaming, burning agony lead – my limbs were twice as heavy as _I_ was and moving them even slightly was starting to become a task in itself.

Just when I was starting to think that it would be better for me to give up and accept my fate like a man (figuratively speaking of course), a gift from the heavens burst on the scene. A drunken, disorderly gift, showing off ample cleavage with a grin almost as big as her assets, but a gift nonetheless.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto!" I cried in relief – never had I been so unbelievably happy to see my irresponsible, work-shirking, drunkard of a Lieutenant in the pinnacle of her intoxicated state before. I don't know how I thought it might _help_ exactly but at least there was a witness now.

"Megu-hic-ri-chan! Darling! Where've you-hic-been hiding, m'love?!"

"Never mind that!" I screeched, running towards her – which made a pleasant change seeing as I was normally running _away_ from her. "SAVE ME!"

"Save you?" Matsumoto questioned sounding bewildered by the prospect. Her eyes, droopy with the poison of one too many bottles of sake , studied me blearily as I dodged around her curvaceous form to cower like a kicked puppy. "From _what_, dear-hic-heart?!"

She needn't have asked; the answer to her unnecessary question was made perfectly clear when she suddenly found something small and incredibly angry buried in her chest. Captain Hitsugaya had been so close on my tail that he hadn't had time to change direction when I danced around the drunken female – as such he was now wedged in the special place Matsumoto often called 'her little valley'.

"Cap'n?" she asked, studying the white head struggling to free itself from her over-large bosom. "Cap'n! I was-hic-lookin' for you! Can I have -hic, hic- the rest of the afternoon off? I'm not feeling ver' good."

Taking this opportunity to escape while I could – silently thanking whatever powers that be that in their wisdom they created Rangiku Matsumoto – I left the Squad Ten training grounds, limping pathetically and nursing a beast of a bruise on my abdomen – the Captain had caught me a good un' with his little feet when I paused to catch my breath.

"Man! That kid's got a mean sword arm!" I huffed, rolling my right arm in it's socket. It was stiff from all the swordplay – _play my foot! That boy was gonna kill me! – _and what I _really_ wanted was to get home and get my hot water bottle on it. "Home's not such a good idea, I think." I murmured thoughtfully as I reached the junction that would take me to my place. "That demon-child knows where I live... I wonder if... Hisagi maybe... or Hanatarou..."

I took the left turn and started in the general direction of the Squad Four barracks – at least if I begged a few nights' stay off Hanatarou I'd get free medical care to boot. And something told me that after today I'd be needing all the free stuff I could get. Captain was _totally_ gonna dock my pay for this.

_Note to self; Captain does _not_ react well to jokes about his voice breaking... or what it suggests about his anatomy either._


	4. That Sinking, Sickly Feeling

I think it was quite probably the first (likely last and only) time Captain Hitsugaya and I had been on the same side for once. Not that we weren't _always _on the same side in the conventional sense – we were both Shinigami and we were both on the team broadly labelled 'The Good Guys'. We were even part of the same Squad, much to the good Captain's dissatisfaction, and when the annual Shinigami Human-World Sports Day came along we were to participate in the same group – quite by accident, interestingly enough; our names had been picked at random by Old Man Yamamoto himself.

But since the day of my induction there had always been a somewhat unspoken line between us. A 'rivalry' some might call it, but that's giving me way too much credit – I was nowhere near powerful enough to consider myself his rival and he was too powerful to see it that way either. A better word might be 'struggle' or even friendly conflict but that's neither here nor there. The point is that Toushiro Hitsugaya and myself didn't normally see eye to eye (literally! It's more like eye to chest if you think about it...).

The cause of our perverted truce, this unnerving sense of peace between us, was none other my boobalicious and perpetually drunk Vice-Captain, Rangiku Matsumoto.

The woman was, not surprisingly, drunk as a skunk once again – and during broad daylight! – but had that been all there'd have been no reason for the sinister tranquillity. Captain Hitsugaya and I would have simply continued our at odds way, leaving our lazy comrade to wallow around in intoxicated glee (actually, the likelihood is I wouldn't even have been around; it _was_ my day off after all). But Matsumoto _wasn't _gleeful. Not even a little. She was curled up on the Captain's couch in his office, moaning loudly in what must've been _dreadful _pain.

And _that_, my friends, is what had us both in pacific, albeit _horrified_, silence.

"IT HURTS!!! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STO~P" she groaned, tossing and turning fitfully while Hitsugaya and I looked on in a shared childlike form of distress. Strange, seeing as we were both at least a hundred years old...

Hands hanging by my sides like dead leaves, I turned to the Captain with a wide, glassy-eyed expression that I assume bespoke total terror – it was likely the same expression I saw _his_ cute baby face.

"You heard her Cappy," I laughed nervously, using one of the many nicknames I afforded him these days. "Make it stop."

His eyes widened and for once he looked every bit the innocent child he was supposed to be. I had to ignore the almost overwhelming motherly instinct to hug him – now was neither the time nor the place to embarrass five shades of red onto his white face.

"M-me?!" he stuttered. "What the hell am _I _meant to do? Why don't _you_ do something?!"

"With all due respect Sir, _you're_ the Captain around here. Besides, this was meant to be my day off." I pointed out, sidling towards the door with as much subtlety as a Menos Grande. Needless to say my escape attempt didn't go unnoticed by Admiral Arctic.

"You take one more step towards that door and I'll personally see to it that you never have another day off for all eternity." he warned coldly, giving me what I can only describe as the twelve year old version of a deadly scowl. "And if it's your day off, what were you doing in my office in the first place?"

I bit back a giggle. The way he'd phrased the last question sounded bitter – with good cause I reckon. Between me locking myself in to go to the toilet or lazing about when I had nothing better to do and Matsumoto sleeping off her hangovers, I'm sure it felt like the whole world was conspiring to take over his office. (Not a bad idea actually... if I could just get one of the more fun-loving Captains to head up the operation, I might do it. That way I wouldn't die when we eventually had to come out again.).

"If you must know, I was dropping off a document Captain Ukitake suckered me into delivering before I left to visit relatives in Rukongai." I explained, pointing to his desk on which said document sat rather obliviously to the trouble it had caused me. "Of course they're not my blood relatives, but they took care of me when I first arrived so I think I owe them a visit now and then."

"Then by all means, feel free to take tomorrow off. For now you're staying right where you are and helping figure out what to do with _that._" he grunted, pointing at the prostrate woman who had the gall to call herself a Vice-Captain.

"Aye, aye, Cappy!" I cried cheerfully, beaming and giving him a sloppy salute.

"And stop calling me that! It's Captain or Captain Hitsugaya, _nothing else_." he snapped.

"Alright, alright! Geez... Kids these days." I muttered under by breath. Which, considering the still-fresh memory of him going all samurai on my ass the last time I showed such insolence, was a very stupid thing to do.

"You say something, Sugatsu?" Hitsugaya questioned sharply, _suspiciously_.

"Er no, not at all Captain!" I replied hurriedly, staring to sweat. "I was just, er, wondering why you'd ask for _my_ help when there are other more suitable officers on duty today."

"Quit your complaining and just do as you're told. You're here, they're not; simple." _Joy._

Quiet descended once more and although I was mildly ticked off and having my holiday snatched from under me, I was grateful for our brief little spats. Things felt much more natural now; much more _usual_. Even though the peace was settling in again – and fast – I felt better knowing it could be broken at a moments notice.

"C-CAPTAIN!!!" Matsumoto whined, clutching her stomach, face contorted in discomfort. We both simply watched, too out of our depth to know what the next move should be. Or rather knowing but not sure how to achieve it with circumstances what they were.

"So," I probed after a long pause, deciding one of us should state the obvious lest it be overlooked altogether. "I guess we should take her to Squad Four, huh?"

A momentary intermission. Then:

"I guess so."

More silence but for Matsumoto's wails.

"I hate to sound pushy Captain, but how are we going to do that exactly?"

"I don't know! This wasn't exactly in the itinerary of Captain skills, you know."

"Huh. Figures – they really should add a 'How to Transport Your Drunken, Spasmodic Vice-Captain to the Infirmary' section in the syllabus at Soul Academy. Then again, how many of us ever have to actually _do _that, I wonder?"

"Meguri, this is no time for your stupid jokes." Captain Hitsugaya sighed wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose. Sometimes I really felt sorry for the kid. He was young (well... younger than most in Soul Society) and yet he carried such heavy burdens. Poor thing.

"Oh no!" Matsumoto gasped, eyes flying wide, sitting up bolt straight in palpable shock and panic. "It's coming! I can't stop it!"

Hitsugaya and I glanced at each other fearfully. I sure as hell knew what that sounded like, and considering Matsumoto's reputation for drunkenness and... other things on occasion, it wasn't altogether impossible either. In the moment our eyes met before flicking back to the crippled Vice-Captain before us, I'm sure I saw my own thoughts mirrored in his chilly green eyes. _She can't be! ...can she?_

Hesitantly, Captain Hitsugaya knelt in front of her and patted her clenched, sweaty fist awkwardly. I'm pretty sure that from his point of view, things had just gone from bad to worse. If we were right and Matsumoto was _expecting_ (and pretty soon at that) there was no time to get her to the Squad Four barracks. She would have to do it here. And if he thought he was leaving it to me and running off with some lame excuse about fetching Unohana, he had better think again!

"Rangiku? Are you alright? What's going-,"

"BLUEGHH!"

Before he could ask what was going on – effectively asking if she was in labour without having to voice the ridiculous thought aloud – Matsumoto threw up all down the front of his Shihakshou.

For a moment nobody moved, the complete unexpectedness of the situation throwing us all for a loop. Hitsugaya's face was _priceless_ and already I could feel the laughter bubbling up inside me, unstoppable, untameable. When she was done, Matsumoto wiped her mouth blearily and muttered something that sounded like "Must've been something I ate." before flopping back on the couch easy as you please, promptly falling into a deep, snoring sleep.

It was all I could take and I burst out laughing, tears rolling down my cheeks as I literally struggled for breath, Hitsugaya sitting there on the floor in front of the couch woodenly. There were few things in my life (or afterlife) I remembered with any great clarity but I was certain this was going to be one of them. And I prayed that the humorous little 'O' of disgusted surprise on his face would be the thing I remembered best.

"Thank you Captain!" I choked as he stood and calmly – though his face was strained and drained of colour – and headed for the office bathroom which included, for reasons I'd never considered, a fully fitted shower. "I'm glad you made me stay after all. I wouldn't have missed _that_ for anything!" I guffawed, clutching my sides and struggling to get the words out.

"Say. Nothing." he hissed, turning his head at me as he reached the threshold and directing a glare of deadly poison my way. "Go to my personal quarters and bring me back a clean outfit. _Now_."

I did as I was told. It would've been madness to do otherwise, especially after he'd just been soiled so badly. But I took great pleasure in relaying the tale to my 'family' when I visited the following day and oh, what a day it was!

**Yes. I went there. :D**


End file.
